What happens when you 30 and single?

Well, i get asked this question hazaar times, everytime, anytime since i turned 30 last to last month...how life changes, do you feel different? etc etc etc.

I would say - things happen when you turn 30...good, bad, ugly things happen but interesting things happen...like

you resume your passion for travel (awesome)

your friends sponsor your trip to ananda (truly awesome)

suddenly an international magazine wants to feature you for -

"Life of a single woman in 30s in New Delhi, India" (very very interesting)
(My 20 something friends would say - why no-one does a feature on single woman in her 20s - because darling you are supposed to Be Single in your 20s)

A famous celebrity photographer does a photo-feature on a single woman in her 30s and he shoots you...(ummm thats really flattering)

Suddenly people want you to model (not bad, interesting)
(now who starts to model in 30s but i guess world is really changing)

you get told that you are a good advertisement for a single woman (nice)

your parents start to reconcile to the fact that you will marry when you will...so why bother (extremely good)

you buy two houses (good)

your parents pay the down payment (wow)

and you pay monthly installments (not so good)

beginner's luck gets over (am not complaining)

everyday you deal with one crisis or the other such as car accident, your own accident, since you live in vasant kunj - water crisis, client crisis, lock crisis(am still not complaining)

guess wat - you stop trying to prove anything to anyone(most wonderful)

And biggest of all - You Live Life On Your Own Terms!

Today is Huppy Frendship De!

Hmmm, so today is huppy frendship de...this i got to know last night when we all were sitting at a friend's discussing my buddy friend A's love life (A's love life is The Most Bizzare, but I will write about that some other time). Exactly at midnight, my cellphone started to beep with text messages, from people who are not even acquaintances, wishing me frendship de.

I am not much of a DAY person - i have never done DAYS - be it a Balentine Day (In my college, my very sweet bihari friend wud say - Huppy Balentine, since then its been Huppy Balentine for me), Roze Day, Father'sh Day, Mother'sh Day, Brother'sh Day, Sibling'sh Day, Dog'sh Day and all the other daysh, thanks to Archies and Hallmark. Unlike most other people, Balentine day has always been a community thing for me - so much red and pink around - would make me nauseated - so just being with good friends made that day bearable...however coming back to frendship de - i replied to some of the messages next day, some i deleted...and so on.

But then I thought - why am i so cynical? why can't i wish my good friends - huppy frendship de. Why can't i tell my wonderful friends, how special they are and how they make life so much more fun...Simple reason - i am not built that way, am not into DAYS. But sure I can use this space here to tell all of u:

Ruch - Not only my sister, My best pal, My alterego, My inside, can't imagine life without u!

D - My cynical touchstone, My best friend, My best fun pal, hope to have those endless laughing sessions all through my life, Love you sweetheart!

R - My reality checker, the person who gives me the most unbiased advice on anything or everything. And accommodates me everytime, we have a late night:-). Love you!

A 1 - My buddy friend, life is a laugh riot with you inspite of you announcing to the world that I am very ugly:-), (I will be writing a separate blog on you, infact on your life experiences, a book can be written), love you buddy!

E - Ohh, my cutest friend whose love for food makes every going out much more fun, not because of the food we eat but the amount of fun we have discussing food. But jokes apart - i am going to miss you a lot darling when you leave:-(

K - Thanks for making me family, you are a very special friend and would remain so:-)

A2 - Ohh cutie pie - you feel very comfotable in my house inspite of A3 not approving of it:-). i love to have those endless discussions with you on career, relationships, life, etc etc...always be around sweetheart:-)

A3 - my bubbly young friend...keep smiling, keep twisting and keep having fun babe:-)

A4 - Anky the manky as i call him, your wit, your sense of humor keeps every party going...none of my parties are complete without you...love you!

G - Another young bubbly friend with the dancing skills which would give complex to Aishwarya Rai...keep grooving sweetie:-)

S - You look very cute when you smile, keep smiling:-) one life, have fun...love you!

There are so many more friends I would want to thank for being around but guess I would stop here and say -

"Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends," - Virginia Woolf

Aap to dilli se ho!!!

I recently went trekking to Himalayas, my friend E who was with me, was doing her first Himalayan trek. Inspite of that, i think she did pretty well, more to do with enthusiastic spirit of hers than anything else.

However first time in Himalayas, trekking on rocky himlayan trek is not a cake walk by any means. By the time we completed our 13 kms trek for the day, E started to get muscular pains in some or the other joint (specifically thighs).

As we reached our guest house, we met this guy who claimed that he is the best trek guide cum muscular pain therapist (a local garhwaali)in the entire region or could be the entire country. He would go on boasting about his therapy skills and how he is different from local masseurs, how he has a technique and what not???

E in her pain obviously needed therapy, so we asked him, how do you plan to give this therapy - and the guy answered I press cetain points to relieve you of the pain. Ok great...so we asked - and which are these POINTS assuming he is talking about some points on the foot. He answered matter of factly - obviously the points where the pain is (which obvously meant E's thighs). We were still ok and were keeping a straight face. Next question (from us) - Do you use any oil? Yes madam - i have a special herbal oil specially prepared for my therapy to this we said - wonderful - give us the oil and we would do the massage ourselves. Hearing this he went ballistic -

madam kaisi baatein kar rahe ho, aapko kya pata kaun se POINTS hai, aap ko kya pata therapy ka, therapist to main hoon, yeh oil to bahut poisonous hai, agar kuch huaa to meri responsibility ho jaayegi, hum to professional hai, massage hamein hi karne do. Madam kaisi baatein kar rahe ho, aap to dilli se ho!!!

:-) to this obviously our jaws dropped and i quickly hid myself under the quilt to have a good laugh leaving E to deal with the Moron!

Thank you so much Sasha!

I have been thinking of comin here writin, sharin so much which has happened or I have felt over the last few months but wud get busy...or rather i shud say - wud make myslef busy in some or the other sort of compulsive activity such as chatting, partying,dating etc etc...I would waste more than 70% of my leisure time doing all that instead of doing things that i would really want to do. And then a fortnight back, my soul mate D sent me "Quirkyalone" by Sasha Cagen saying from one quirky to another:-)...book is supposed to be a manifesto of uncompromising romantics who are anti dull relationships...who resist coupledom in favour of independent self expression. Relatives, co-workers give them quizzical look, they may not participate in a conventional romance but they are always romancing the world and themselves. So my friends who are reading this know how much i related with the book.

Book started with a small quizz and guess what my score was - 10 on 10, which means I am so so so Quirkyalone. This obviously got me curious to find out how i became or what qualifies me to become one...Sasha starts by explaining what is QA and how she can be a quirkytogether, quirkyflirt or the dark side of quirkyalone - Romantic Obsession (R.O.).

When i started looking back in the past to find similarities between me and Sasha's categorisation, I realised, I was a born quirkyalone, most part of my life. I would do things by myself - go for movies alone, travel by myself - infact something that i really wanted to do or the place where I really wanted to go, i wouldn't go with a bad company or company for the sake of it, that's why would go by myself or with my alter ego, my sister R. Then I became a quirkyflirt - i did date in college, while working but nothing went beyond few months (unless it was a long distance relationship). It would always happen, after creating a lot of excitement and making my friends think - may be this time she has met mr. right, i wud go back and say naah - not happening, connect nahin hai...and best feedback has been - "he is an extremely nice guy, fun too, i have really made good friends with him but naah...(I hold a reputation of turning most dates into good friends...infact have helped them date my friends:-)

Then i became an RO. Obvioulsy it didn't work and to get out of it, i again became a quirkyflirt...

But after reading Sasha - i somehow dont feel the need to be anything because what i felt was right, whatever i did or didn't do was jus part of being myself. And am sure all in QA community would agree with me on that - QA is all about being honest to yourself, giving your individuality a self expression, not playing mind games and most importantly loving your self and having a relationship with yourself.

And just a quick word of thanks for Sasha for writing this book...thanks for giving expression and name to something that i always knew was right!

Thank you so much Sasha!
www.quirkyalone.net